Friday, February 17, 2006

USELESS WANKER: Lee Harding


Lets get one thing clear. I am a punk at heart. I cut my teeth as a young boy on The Sex Pistols, The Clash, The Dead Kennedys and Black Flag to name but a few. I even had some time for 'pop-punk' bands like The Buzzcocks And The Descendants.
These days Punk has become a bit of a joke, but at least bands like Greenday and The Living End try to get some kind of social message across (albeit usually misguided ones).

This dancing monkey is Lee Harding. He thinks he is a punk. He takes his influences from bands like Good Charlotte and Blink 182 (both bands in my opinion need to fed into a large garden mulcher onstage and thrown at their audiences). The main difference between Lee and G.C./182 is they can play instruments, and sing. Lee can't. He sucks ass.

Good old Lee was a finalist in the abhorrent 'Australian Idol' show. I suspect the main reason he got that far was because the mighty TSSH webpage ran a campaign to try to get as many votes for this no-talent gerbil as possible in an attempt to destroy the show by producing a winner that had the marketability of a home caustic soda enema kit.
Sadly their plan failed, in two ways. He didn't win, and he still has a music career for now.
This guy has a song out called 'Wasabi'. That's quite interesting because if his music was food, it would be far from sushi, it would be more like a boiled sweet laced with cats urine.

I sincerely hope that his 15 minutes of fame evaporates quickly, then he can get back to his job at the grocery store. This time cannot be far off, as one of his salivating fat-chick fans recently exposed the fact that he lugs his own gear into shows.
I suppose when all you need is a radio mike, a dat machine and an effects processor with pitch correction (an Eventide Ultra-harmonizer would peg that pitchy voice down nicely), I guess you don't need roadies you can't afford to pay for anyway.

I also hope he realizes he will need a decent disguise to intergrate back into real life (I suggest a brick to the teeth) , as there will be an army of punks, skins, homies and assorted street scum who would love to beat him to a bloody pulp, and stuff his anus with wasabi. You can't spraypaint a dog turd, push a couple of studs into it an call it a punk rock.

In fact I would love to pluck a group of these young 'punks' that are around now and drop them into the middle of one of the rough punk gigs I went to when I was young, say P.I.L at Easts' Leagues Club, or Iggy at the Horden in 89. Just to see how punk they really are. The poor plastic punklings would have been stripped naked and crowd surfed into the nearest rubbish bin!

Best of luck Lee, hope you get plenty of jailbait vaginal juices humped onto your leg for the next 200 non paid appearances then get the fack out of my face, you no-talent piece of shit.

And to all his fans, hurry up and become fat suburban wage-slaves, you guys are nothing but subcultural sewage!

12 Comments:

Blogger jaxallie said...

U have no idea of wat lee is like. have u even listened to his music? no i dont think so. Ur such a loser, having to bag out some one else in order to make urself feel better. FREEDOM OF SPEACH I can say wat i want to you. and F.Y.I I dont think he tries to be to much punk, so keep ur negetive to ur own wishful thinking that maybe one day a web wite might make you famous. coz if this is all that you say, garenteed, u will have no fans!

4:31 PM  
Blogger Frankie J said...

Hello Children,
I have heard his music. It is the most obscenely obnoxious attempt at watering down punk/glam rock to appeal to under-educated pre-teen white trash I have ever heard. Anyone who buys this music will be embarrassed to admit within 2 years-Guaranteed!

I am not a loser, I am a commentator, as such I don't compete, therefore cannot lose.
I don't need to 'bag out' Lee to make myself feel better.

I already feel pretty damn good! I do it to amuse and myself and to inform my readers.

He has of course backed off the 'punk' tag because of the chorus of abuse and ridicule that he received for ever claiming to be 'punk' in the first place.

I have reached every level of success in my life I had ever desired. Lee will sadly fall short of the dreams he is chasing, because frankly, he doesn't have the skills to pay the bills. He can't sing it or bring it.

As far as being negative, pointing out things that positively suck, and have no redeeming qualities,(such as Lee) is a highly valuable public service.
I also have no desire to become famous from a 'web write' as you called it, because for the most part, the internet is populated by illiterate scum with no taste, much like yourself.
I don't want fans my dear, I have air conditioning.
I appreciate your letter, and hope I have answered all your questions. If you have any further correspondence for me, please write it in english, as my teen-tardspeak is a little rusty.
Play nice,
Uncle Frankie.

8:12 PM  
Blogger billy hunt said...

well well well-this is what australian idol shat from its backend orifice.My god,I am so relieved to not have wasted a single second watching it! He looks like all the rest of these wash'n'rinse "punks"-yet whats with the sgt.pepper jacket? oh i get it-He's a retro alternative punk- fuck that.U cant polish a turd and you sure cant tell me that this guys got any talent from the gay look upon his face in that photo.I hope a crowd of REAL PUNKS gatecrash his all ages shows (that would be all of them) and crowdsurf his ass right back to the sewerpipe he was shat from. And as for you jaxillie,You sound like the typical teenage bimbo that would enjoy looking at a right dickhead like this and dreaming of romance,wishing you could write an intelligent email to him ,sadly your vocabulary is poor and your spelling is atrocious-sadly these type of popfarts are as frequent as the sun rising- frankie j keep up the good work mate......

8:53 AM  
Blogger Frankie J said...

Thanks Billy! I like the cut of yer jib mate. Let me know if you have anything you want to post as an article, contributions from fellow haters is always welcome.

4:06 PM  
Blogger Engels said...

Hate is good. Never watched any Idol but I imagine Lee is a tosser beyond dimensions.

Nice site Frankie.

If only the young of today could learn to communuicate, then maybe we understand them, deal with them, help them....

5:14 PM  
Blogger Frankie J said...

Cheers Engels.

7:31 PM  
Blogger jump said...

OMFG! Y R U h8ing on L33?!
Sorry, couldn't resist the chance to type something in teen-tardspeak.
I'm usually opposed to violence but if I saw this fucker in public I'd have a hard time resisting punching him in the face.
It makes me so mad that he has usurped the punk aesthetic as a marketing tool when he obviously has no idea about the true origins of punk.
It's like the fucking wannabe goth emo-kids I see so frequently around town. Buying into a look as a fashion statement. These kids aren't real goths. If they were real goths, they'd be over 30 for starters and also know who The Cult, Joy Division etc are.
Is it just a natural progression that anti-establishment sub-cultures like punk and rap are eventually usurped by the corporate machine and then sold back to the masses?

8:04 PM  
Blogger Frankie J said...

Don't get me started on teh 'goths' these days, they hear a Foetus song, they think it's Rob Zombie (what a wanker that guy is), they hear a Laibach song, and they think it's Rammstein! GRRRRRRR...
Facking coonts!

I think the corporations love raping subcultures, not only do they make money, they get rid of any true rebellion.

Blues, Reggae, punk, metal, rap, they have all been homogenised and castrated, then shat out as pop diarrhea.

Punk is dead. Wattie must be pissed.

11:16 PM  
Blogger Bear Wabbit said...

all teenagers are idiots and are only good for rooting until they get ugly or loose whichever comes first.

1:32 PM  
Blogger Bear Wabbit said...

although Frankie I've been enjoying Sage Francis and Saul WIlliams in the rap department and will always love Tool in the HardRock department....

1:41 PM  
Blogger Frankie J said...

Yeah Tool are great, any band that gives props to The Swans and Gun Club are alllllright!

11:01 PM  
Blogger Ronan Jimson said...

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my blog is Arts Collections .
pls feedback to me.
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1:03 PM  

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